I like to read others people's blogs. People I know, people I don't. Blogs about baking, crafting, healthy eating, health issues, photography, home organization, decorating, food storage, sewing, etc. You get the idea. I think we as a society view the world so differently today because we know such much about what others are up to and we get caught up in it!
Things I have noticed about blogging:
1. Sometimes I feel better knowing someone else is having a hard time, sick kid, dirty house, whatever because I know they can empathize with me.
2. Sometimes I worry too much about having to catch other's up on my life. "Oops! I didn't take a picture! How am I gonna blog about it?"
3. Sometimes people don't have boundaries when it comes to what they will blog about. I won't expound but sufficeth to say that you shouldn't blog about things you wouldn't want told to 1,876 of your closets friends.
4. I know so much more about what is going on in my extended family and far away friends lives. Makes me feel so connected to them.
5. I have such a wonderful record of my family's history and am able to increase my writing skills when I probably wouldn't otherwise.
6. This is a big one for me and probably the entire reason I wrote the post: We compare ourselves so much to what others have posted about.
We feel so much pressure to live our lives the way that others have photoed, filtered, edited, and composed theirs to look in a blog! I am 100% for making the blog look wonderful and keeping it positive. (See #3) However, we who read them so quickly forget that these are snap shots of lives, not perfect lives. So let's not change the blogs. Let's change they way we view them and get rid of our stinkin' thinkin' so we can celebrate each others' lives!!
For example: I will on occasion allow myself to think anyone of the following, "Oh gosh, I don't allow my kids to go outside and explore enough." Then read the next blog, "Oh wow, my kids always look a mess, not like so and so's children who are always perfectly put together." Next, "So and so has read how many books? I can't sit still enough to read a magazine article!" Next, "They are so grateful and positive. My family probably thinks I am so grumpy." Next, "Oh no, they fed their children all organic food for a month and have found the cure to cancer through spinach leaves. My kids just downed 3 popsicles! They are going to die tomorrow!" Next, "She's is so in shape after her baby and never seemed to miss a beat! I was a mess for a year after my last!" Next, "I don't have a reward system that includes fancy certificates for my children. I don't have a theme of the week for summer. They are never going to learn anything." Next, "She has her children in 3 extra activities and my kids are only allowed one at a time. They are going to be hermits and completely not well rounded!" Next "I didn't sew my curtains, refinish my table, start on my daughters' hand stitched wedding dresses yet!" Next, "I dress like a slob and she is fashionable!" See my point?
Please do not mistake this as fishing for compliments. I am not. As a matter of fact I don't want you to leave a comment trying to build me up. I am fine. The truth is my kids are fine. My husband's happy. I am happy. Life is actually great! My point: I am not the only one who does this, I happen to know I am not. Why do we as women in general do this to ourselves?? We need to stop comparing ourselves to each other and just celebrate our uniqueness!!
What are your thoughts?
Why do we do this to ourselves and how can we stop it so as to allow others to post happy things without feeling overwhelmed ourselves?
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10 comments:
I'm with you 100%. My biggest thing is comparing how well other's raise their kids, then I think I'm a complete failure.
I'm pretty good at separating myself from most of the stuff out there (meaning I don't compare myself much to all the crafty DIY-ers, beautiful people, etc)... except when it comes to kids. I feel like I have no clue what I'm doing so it's so easy to read/see what fabulous things parents are doing and think that I'm somehow doing it wrong. I worry all the time that Annie isn't potty trained, that she isn't outside exploring enough, that she watched too much TV, and on and on and on.
I'm also in the boat of only posting the "best" pictures of our lives. The ones where the kids are done, we're doing something fun/productive, I don't look totally fat (and if I do, you know I edit the heck out of it), etc.
Good point on all accounts. I need to be better. I think we're all just doing the best we can.
Amen! I always compare myself to others - especially when I think about all the time that my friends seem to have to read, sew, refinish furniture, work out, etc.
But then I think about how I blog. I literally will not put up a picture of something unless my house is clean in the background. If everyone edits their life like me, then I figure I'm doing fine. People who read my blog probably think we do fun family activities all the time instead of realizing that I randomly cram them in whenever I start to go stir crazy from being such a homebody. :)
I'll try my best not to compare anymore. :)
Love this.
haha! i don't find that I compare myself too much...I guess sometimes I do, but most of the time I just wish I could get the quality of pictures that I see in other peoples' blogs. like, if I make a yummy dinner and want to share the recipe, I feel like my picture doesn't look as good as I've seen in other food blogs BUT I make myself post it anyway. And the prego pics I post, I make Mike take 7 or 8 and I use the one that gets my best angle or something! it is funny how we edit our lives but I know I'm not the only one and I realize other people do it. I really like looking at blogs of members of the church, but many of them, I don't know b/c I see them through other people's links. that's when I sometimes wonder if I'm weird! BUT they made it public so, I'm sorry if I find them interesting!
I like all of your points and I agree with you. I will vow from here on out, to make a conscious effort not to edit our lives through blogging (except for the prenant pictures :) j/k
Ditto to the post Amy. It was so good seeing you yesterday and going to see your house. I really do want to see it when you get everything in it. If you need extra hands let me know :) I am so happy for you guys and the beautiful new house.
You are so right on Amy. This is woman's greatest fault. I think we should commit to memory this talk http://lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/charity-never-faileth?lang=eng
by Pres. Monson. We need to have confidence in ourselves as mothers and women that though we are not perfect we are trying our best. We have made covenants with the Lord in His temples. We are sealed to these children. We will fail at times, but He will make up for what we lack if we are faithful and obedient. Easier said then done, but I wish I never once would doubt those truths when I see another mother who I feel is so much better than me.
I totally agree. My cousin calls it the Blog Facade. I do exactly what you are talking about too.
Great post. Agreed with just about everything you said. I do have one point to make... it's nice to be positive and all on your blog, but personally I like reading about the "not so perfect" part of people's lives. It keeps it real if that makes sense. I can appreciate the positiveness but there is more to life than the birthdays, holidays and awesome recipes, projects, etc.
Thanks for all that introspection. A great reminder to take it easy on ourselves. I like to blog so that family knows what is going on and that I keep track of things that are going on - like my family journal.
I do really enjoy hearing about other peoples thoughts and their bad days too. It makes me feel better about my bad days. So thanks for keeping things real and informative on your blog [including the nasty pictures too :) ]
Oh gosh, I totally have to take a break from browsing blogs sometimes because I get to the point where I feel like "oh, everyone's lives are just PERFECT! They cook, the sew, they craft, their kids are adorable, etc!" I LOVE when people get real, tell about their bad days, funny days, opps days and good times too! For whatever reason I feel like sometimes people feel the need to paint their lives as perfect...and maybe they are...but mine is not. Good post.
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