Lessons Learned from a Dying Man

A little background:

My Grandfather and Grandmother were to peas in a pod, inseparable. They worked for many years as CES supervisors and my Grandma worked as his secretary. They served four missions abroad (South Dakots, New Guinea, Australia, and Tucson, AZ) and at least one, maybe two, close to home. My Grandma died very suddenly about 5 years ago when she had an aneurism burst in her abdomen. She was packing her bags to go on a girls trip with her daughters, she never made the trip. That was the day my Grandpa started dying.

Since then he has tried to keep himself busy with his animals, children, grandchildren. He has never been able to fill the hole in his heart left by his sweetheart. Every January he would come down to visit with his Great-grandchildren in Louisiana. He was a not only the guest but the STAR at our Family Home Evenings when he came to visit. Every January he also got a horrible cold.

The Story:

This January was no different. The cold came right on schedule. He had big plans to come visit us here in Louisiana. My Uncle took him to the doctor for the cold and the doctor did chest x-rays. The x-rays told the ugly truth that changed alot of plans. He would never make the trip to Louisiana. It was cancer, lung cancer, taking up half of his lung capacity, was not operable, 6 months to live. There were a great deal of mixed emotions. He was so happy to learn that it would not be long until he was reunited with his sweetheart. However, when he looked into the wet eyes of those he was leaving he could not help but cry for them.

Those grandkids who live far away decided to each take a turn and fly out to be with him for a few days while he was still feeling relatively well. My turn came four days after our trip the Disney. Eric valiantly took on the three kids, stomach virus and all! When I walked into his house I expected to see a dying man. Quite the opposite, I saw a man who was finishing living! We had a fun-filled few days. He informed me that he did not cook and McDonalds was providing most of his meals these days. We went in the morning to the "Old Boys Club". You see, my Grandfather lives in a small farming community in Northern Utah and the "Old Boys" of the town meet together at Burger King every morning to visit, swap stories and try to solve the world's issues amongst themselves. I was schooled in the ways of raising chickens, and learned that horses are all dark meat. Who knew? More importantly I was close with my Grandpa doing what he loved to do. We took daily naps and I had a chance to impress him by doing a pull-up! I cooked a big breakfast for him which he told me that no one did for him (except when my own Mom would come to visit him) since my Grandma died. On my last night there we watched a WWII documentary and I probably asked him 756 questions. He was willing to answer every single one. I learned more in those two hours than I had every learned in school about WWII.

I was leaving early in the morning so after our movie, he turned to me and let me know how much he appreciated and enjoyed our visit. We had mostly talked and let him rest alot, but not a moment was wasted. He told me he loved me and that I probably wouldn't see him again so this was "Goodbye". He was stalwart and I was a mess. There he was comforting the living while he was dying. He told me has nothing to fear on the other side and is at peace. He is sad to leave but excited to leave on this new adventure. He told me that he felt a little like he did when we would leave on a mission except that this time he would not be coming back. He didn't know what he would find but he knew it was the right thing and was excited for the adventure. I went in my room, called Eric and cried. I suspect that he went to his room and cried too. He admitted to me earlier in the week that he does that from time to time.

The entire trip gave me time to reflect on where I was and where I wanted to go. Am I going to be that peaceful when the time comes? Would I be ready to go now? What is important to me? Am I valuing those things or wasting time on things that don't matter? Am I really living or just being acted upon? Lessons learned from a dying man. I would not have traded those few days for all of the money in the world.

My cousin Reed invited us over for dinner one night. This is him with his ADORABLE little boy Peter (2) and Mastiff dog Miley. I wanted to sneak Peter into my suitcase and bring him home! Miley is only a few months old here! Mastiffs are the coolest dog on the planet!

Be Still

Saturday night found me gearing myself up for a long week ahead. We had just gotten home from my Dad's retirement dinner (yeah Dad!) and Sunday was going to come early, be long, and be followed up with an incredibly long week. Sunday we woke up to a sick Mya who was allowed to stay home from church with Eric. I was teaching Relief Society so I had to go, Austin and Aliyah in tow. A couple short hours after our traditional Sunday breakfast-for-lunch, Eric left for High Council meetings. He made it back in time for me to be only 5 mins late to the youth fireside. Here were my plans for the rest of the week.

Monday-Parent/Teacher conference, planting a container garden, cleaning up the house, Family Home Evening

Tuesday-Visiting Teaching all morning, volunteering in Mya's class all afternoon

Wednesday- cleaning my mother's house, making my house company ready, mutual

Thursday- Field trip with Austin in New Orleans

Friday- Honor Roll assembly for Austin, Easter Party for Mya, kids out of school early for the start of spring break, company comes into town

Here's how the week is looking in reality so far-

Monday- Parent/Teacher conference, Mya running fever, home to clean the house, doctor appointment to find out that Mya has pneumonia!

Tuesday-laying in bed for literally four hours with the girls dosing off and on, finishing house cleaning to show it, Eric takes us to Sonic for dinner

Rest of the week- Stay home and take care of Mya, Eric to go to Field Trip, me to be home catching up on laundry and doing lots of snuggling

I am being made to BE STILL. I grateful for every minute I am getting to sit on the couch and watch cartoons with my girls. The crying is getting old from Aliyah but I am taking a week to soak it all in rather than watch it all pass by in a blur.

On another note:

I can't wait for the summer so I can "be still" with all of my kiddos all day. Days in the swimming pool with crackers and apples slices for lunch under the sun umbrella; mornings at the free movie for the Kids Summer Movie Camp; completing the entire summer reading program within the first few days of signing up; playing in the sprinklers; spending the night in the cabin complete with sand beach, fishing and critter collecting. Bring on the "be still" summer.

Surprise! We live!

Well, I am sure most of have given up on me. Have no fear, we are still alive and kicking. I love reading blogs but am a pathetic blogger myself.

We have been so very busy these days. My children are growing like weeds which lends itself to more out-of-the-house activities. Usually, I am pretty fierce when it comes to protecting our at home time, but this winter/spring we found that we could fit in basketball and gymnastics for Austin and Mya respectively and still have peaceful evenings.

Austin is actually finished with his season at the time if this post. He was pleasantly surprised by how fun and organized the league was. Some of the boys on the team wanted to be called the Jets like the football team. Austin and his cousin Merrick felt "the cougars" would be more appropriate. Only a little BYU brainwashing around here! My brother Seth and Eric, the coaches, and held a vote. The "Jets" won and the team won about half of their games. However, much improvement was seen!!! They went from swarming the ball and taking it from their own team and to getting open for passes and setting picks, a victory in my book!

Mya is only about half way through with her gym. Actually, she was moved up to a more advanced class because she had mastered the beginning class in the first month and it was supposed to last four. The biggest news about the move? She now gets to wear a leotard which is a BIG dang deal to a 5 year old girl! Now she is working on the four olympic events, floor, vault, bars and beam. She is in gym heaven and it is the highlight of her week! Her cousin Cali in Utah is also quiet the gymnast so maybe it is a Bascom thing! She fell on the beam (which was only about a 6 inch drop) last night while trying to do a handstand and was a little guarded after that but I think she will get over it soon enough.

Aliyah is almost three and thinks she is 16. I love that sassy little thing. She is my little buddy and melts my heart when she sings ALL day long. She is really starting to need some playtime with friends but I am loving having her all to myself. I only have 2 years until all of my children are in school. What will I do with myself?!?

Eric is busy busy at work which is on fire lately! They are beginning to be quite established and well known in the community. He is also running around with the high council most every Sunday and serving as the East Ascension Rotary Club president. He is also still working out like a mad man. He started P90X again with me in tow. Still on the fence about how I like it but we are 9 weeks in so way too late to give up now. The results are amazing but its not a miracle program. You literally work your tushy right off. No gimmicks just good old fashioned hard work...

I am obviously busy with the aforementioned exercise routine. In addition I am working in the Young Women's program with Personal Progress and whatever else they need me for. Of course the normal house work included and it gets busy. I have become a food storage maniac lately. I could write a whole blog just on what I have learned in the last few months. Storing, cooking, etc. Maybe I will...

In other news we taken three trips(well i have taken three the others, two) in the last month and am grateful for the down time.

#1 Family vacay with Eric's mom to Disney!

#2 Trip to see my dying Grandfather. Just me, awe inspiring trip that I will post more on later

#3 Trip to Dallas to see my niece baptized. Short and sweet. A little too short but very sweet.

Oh, here is really big news!! My parents were called to be Area Humanitarian Supervisors for the Southern Half of AFRICA!! They leave next month and will be back in two years! We couldn't be happier for them.

Here is a little teaser of pics:

Aliyah got the camera. Eric looks so tall to her!

Must have a picture here. Yes, Chrisie's arm is in a sling. She broke it when she fell on some ice a couple days before. The kids had to put on her shoes,socks and cast every morning. I think they really enjoyed it and I loved seeing them serve her in that capacity. I thought she would be doing those things for them but this time the tables were turned.

This is my brother Jared. He is the oldest and I am the youngest. We were in Dallas to see him baptize his oldest daughter, Brittany.

All the kids and spouses minus Courtney, Seth's wife. We missed you!

Seth, Josh, Elli, Shane, Tawnya, Me, Eric, Tracy and Jared. (All the boys (except Eric) are my brothers.)

My parents and all their grandkids minus Rush who stayed home with his mom, Courtney. He is almost a year.

Me and My Grandapa.

My Dad and the map with all of our guesses on where they would be called on their mission. One in state and one out for each person. My guesses were Latvia and Alabama.

At our lake in Mississippi. Tawnya and I paddle boating the kids around. I have the ponytail and Tawnya's in the red sweater. Kids: l-r Mya, Aliyah and Jack. Annabelle is steering in the front and Joe is climbing his mother!!

Well, here's to me being better. We'll see...

Why do you love Daddy?

Austin:  Dad always is nice to us and he spends time with us and he works to get money for our family and I like it when he helps me build my faith.

Mya: He is nice to me.  He does nice things for me.  He loves me.  He likes to be with me on Father's Day and he always treats me good.

Aliyah: Daddy? Daddy...Daddy

Amy:  Eric you are one amazing example to our children.  You are a kind example of the love the Savior has for each of us in this family.  I am more and more grateful for you everyday.  I cannot say enough wonderful things about you.  I am one lucky girl and our kids are lucky to have a daddy who takes his fatherly responsibility seriously.  Is it any wonder that they ask  million times a day when daddy will be home and why they each love to be right next to your side at all times?  They feel loved when they are near you.  It radiates from you.  We love you back!

Father Son Campout

The Baton Rouge Stake has a great tradition of holding an annual Father/Son Campout in the spring.  Austin and Eric are faithful attenders!  Two days of swimming in the lakes and creeks, fishing, and eating junk food.  What could be better?  

Can you see Austin and Uncle Seth in the tree?  Merrick and Jack decided to stroll through the water instead.

Chain of Love Complete

Amber this is for you!  Thank you, thank you!  Eric's pancakes somehow taste better when he wears this little number.  

Twins!

I got my hair cut and colored the other day...I am in love.  Eric loves it equally!  Austin is not so sure because he says it does not look like me.  Aliyah only voiced her opinion in screaming ecstatically that I was home from the salon and saying "Mommy Home!" 45 times.  Mya was so in love that she talked her daddy into taking her out to get her hair cut right away.  

Mya Before:

Me before:


Mya during:
Both after:

Chung Be!

Watch out world! The Bascom kids are going to be unstoppable!

My favorite part: I can tell them "Chung Be" which is the "ready stance" command, then I can go away and come back and they will still be standing there, at attention, when I get back. This is going to be very valuable, I can tell already!

Foot Surgery

A couple people have asked about Eric's foot surgery. He had some ingrown toenails removed. Lest you think that is a simple, painless procedure, I will tell you it is not! I almost cried watching them do the surgery and I will not tell if Eric did or not! He explained to me that there is a pain threshold that once reached eyes just naturally water. Umm Hmm. He is doing better but still has to baby his toe pretty much. Anytime you talk about diabetics and feet it is a scary thing. Hopefully we avoided some major issues in the future by having this done now. He is going to be much better as soon as this heals. Thanks for asking.

A Little Business

I know I usually reserve my blog for a record of our comings and goings but I need to diverge from the path for this post.

Eric and I are selling a one acre lot of land in Galvez and are looking for a buyer. If you or someone you know would be interested in looking at it please comment.

We are offering $500 to anyone that helps us find a buyer!

Thanks.

Aliyah Turns 2!

That was then (one year ago):

This is now: (so big!)



I cannot believe that my younget and last child is two years old! Aliyah is such a joy to have in our home. She is always smiling and comforting whoever happens to taken up the position as the sad child for the moment. Loves to take care of her babies and does so ever so gently. I love that she asks to hear 'The wheels on the bus" in the car at leat 25 times beofre we arrive to where we are going. She will do evey motion and sing almost every word if no one is watching. Aliyah loves to make new friends and currently her best friends are Dumbo our pet rat and her Daddy. She is a very compliant child and has always been so happy and pleasent to be around. I also love that am potty training her and she can hold it forever! Way to go Liyah Bear! We love Aliyah and are so happy you are in our family!

Eating with my big bro

Grandma and Grandpa with Aliyah and Mya

Time out for kisses from Grandma

Mya and Austin hover over to help with gifts at a moments notice

Eric had practiced with her early in the day so she would be able to blow out the candles!

I think she was mad that we took her away from her toys here!

(I wish I had fixed myself up here. It had been a long dayof painting my house, and taking kids to the doctor unexpectedly and putting together this little shin-dig. Oh well, that's what professional family pictures are for! )

The older kids wanted to get something for Aliyah on her birthday. We took a family trip to the store and they had a little tiny four wheeler setup on display. Aliyah fell in love. She would not get off. I had to run and get some icing for her cake so Eric (who was riding an electric cart because of recent foot surgey) told me to go and he would handle it. Handle it included having Austin prying her hands off and Eric leting her drive the electric shopping cart. Whatever works... We decided it was a worthy investment and Austin and Mya even put their money towards her new toy instead of looking for something else! She was delighted to see it on her birthday. I later found out that Austin was hoping to be able to ride it which may have been the reason for the enthusiasm behind the decision on his part. Sorry buddy you are way too big! Don't worry, we will hook a brotha up!

Side note: Remember Eric had surgery, hence the duck like boot he is wearing.

Well I have some really cute pictures to post but my camera power button is stuck. Eric asked "What did you do?" I responded "Uh...I tired to turn it on..." Not sure how I broke it but I did. I have been wanting a new one anyway so it works out great for me...maybe not for the pocket book but for me anyway!

Update on the Bascoms:
1. New nephew count for the year: 2 Xavier Bascom and Rush Richardson
New niece count for the year: 1 Caroline Richardson.
I haven't met Xavier yet but if he is half as sweet as the other two I am in for a treat!
Pictures to come when the camera decides to wake up or be buried.

2. Austin made a 4.0 and the Honor Roll for school

3. Mya's preschool took a field trip to the Strawberry Patch and we all ate as many strawberries as we could hold in our bellies and then brought a bunch home. It was really cute to see the girls pick them right off the plant and shove them in!

4. We have two new pets: Lucy and Dumbo...pet rats. They are so sweet and durable! Let's just say they have yet to bite even with all of the Aliyah Lovin they get.

5. Easter was a home run this year. We spent the night in our new cabin in Mississippi and had an Easter egg hunt with all the Richardson Cousins and then had a great big lunch together. The kids swam in the lake, played on the beach, fished, ran on the trails, hunted for monarch caterpillars etc until they were completely worn out! Awesome! The next day on Easter the bunny left some rocking baskets filled with play-doh and kites. My brother and his wife blessed their Baby Caroline on that day so more family visiting and gathering after church. We made our exit when Aliyah decided she had had enough for one weekend! I am sure I win the worst mother in the world award though because I forgot to take pictures of the kids....lame.

6. Oh yeah General Conference! I did not get to watch as much as I would have liked. The wee ones conspired against us this year. They have let us watch in years past but the stars were not aligned. I am waiting for the Ensign to come out so I can read it. However, My Mom, Eric and I made a melt-in-your-mouth Cafe Rio Salad that I ate way too much of and that we all ate again the next night!

7. Austin got some new glasses with the promise that if he can prove to the eye doctor that he is responsible he may be able to get a contact this summer. He only has an issue with on e eye so we would only need one contact. Anyone have any advice on children getting contacts? She seems to think it would be fine seeing as how the glasses keep cramping his style when he wants to play on the trampoline, play football, etc. And I keep having to buy new glasses!

8. Eric is taking a break from his traveling and sticking around for a while...I think...maybe I better call his assistant to check on that...

I know...text = boring, but at least you know I am alive!

Tag Your It

I took this tag from my sister-in-law who did it several months ago but I am just getting around to it.  You are supposed to download the forth picture in the fourth file (I think.  It's random anyway.)   This is from the pictures we took to send to Eric's parents after we moved into our new house and I had decorated.  This is the kid's/guest bath, a Bandana/cowboy theme.  I know you are all better off for having seen it :)  Tag everyone is it!

Monster Truck Show

Our neighbor Ms. Mary was going out of town, so she asked Austin to take her dog out to the bathroom every day when he got home from school and at night before he went to bed.  For payment she was going to buy tickets for him and Mya to the Monster Truck Show that was coming in town.  We all got to go and Ms. Mary came with us.  We had a blast!  Thanks for keeping Aliyah Mom even though she kept you up all night!  I had a video but I need to remember how to add it.  

Ms. Mary and Me

Us minus Alyah

P90X

I need one more person to send gifts to with the Chain of love post.  Don't be shy people.  

I did this with Eric's permission.  It is only to show that I am proud of him and nothing more!

Eric, my brother Shane and my brother Seth all stared a workout program called P90X back in September of last year.  The program lasted 90 days and consisted of a very regimented diet and exercise program.  In the three months Eric had 2 very small slices of cake...that was it for the sweets department.  I started on the diet for a little while and in 6 weeks I lost 8 pounds.  I thought that was good enough and quit.  Lame me!  The program is awesome and they have hooked many many people on it since including both sets of our parents!!  It has also been the best thing in the world for his diabetes.  Here is before and after:

Before

After

Chain of Love

My friend posted this on her blog and I participated with the promise that I would keep the chain going.  So Here it goes...

The first five people to comment on this post will get something in the mail from me.  My friend promised something homemade but I can't make the same promise.  It may be more semi-homemade...who knows?  It will be good though I can promise that.  

The catch is that you are one of the five commenters have to post a similar post on you blog.  This keeps us all busy and thinking of others for a while.  Hope you can participate.  

SNOW IN LA?!?!?!

Again, old news but I have a lot of catching up to do!  This is from December of last year.

When Austin came from school saying that it might snow the next day we thought he was nuts.  We explained to him that it doesn't snow in Louisiana and that one day we would go to Utah in the winter to see snow.  Open mouth insert foot.  The next day at 6:30 am Austin runs into our room exclaiming, "It's snowing!  It's snowing!!!"  I have never seen anything like this in Louisiana and I have lived here almost my entire life.  We got about 3-4 inches!  Of course it melted the next day but we had a alot of cold and wet fun for a day...(we have NO snow clothes!)

Aliyah and Sadie

Mya, a little snowman and Austin

Another Update

At Kristin's request here is another update on our miserable children.  Things got worse after my last update.  Both Mya and Austin starting throwing-up.  Of course they did!  What is a rough week with out a little puking in there??  However, this is the third day that  Mya is off to school!!!!!!!!!  Nose has a little left over yellow bruising, but she is feeling great.

Austin  started running a 102 degree fever on Monday and then he started throwing up.  There were threats from the doctor about going to the ER for an IV so he decided to drink after that.  Today however, he will not.  We are supposedly on the worst days of recovery.

Aliyah has been miserable all week.  We left the ENT's office yesterday with her kicking and screaming about having to leave a baby doll that belonged at the dr's office.  Later we had to run by the store (yes I took them out of the house yesterday because at the time Austin was feeling decent)  she screamed the entire time.  The manager of the store came over to help me pick out some sweet potatoes and another worker offered to help me through the store.  They were sweet but I only needed three things and Aliyah was not going to sit in a cart.   I just carried the screaming banshie throughout the store while Austin and Mya carried the groceries.  Austin said, "Mom you must be really embarrassed!"  I could honestly say I wasn't.  The feeling of complete exhaustion far outweighed any embarrassment that may have come!  Although I have never had a store worker ask if they could help me, much less two!  We must have been a sight!!!

I texted Eric at some point yesterday to say, that I would love to talk to him and give him an update on the kids but I wouldn't be able to do so because we were in the car and the screaming was entirely too bad.  He took a long time to text back.  When he did it said "you have an appointment for 7 pm."  "for what?"  I asked.  "For a massage.  It's an hour."  I was so excited!!!!!  I was starting to have really debilitating headaches  that nothing would cure.  I know it was because I was so tense, stressed tight, etc.  Only problem was that it was 9 hours away!  I did actually make it through the rest of the day until Eric came home to take over.  When the massage girl got to my shoulders she said "OH MY GOSH GIRL!!  You are stressed.  You win the tightest client today by a landslide!" 

 I came home to a quiet house where all the kids were bathed  and in bed and dinner was cleaned up.  I got in the bath because I knew I was going to be sore from the massage. That girl earned her money getting out those knots.  I am sore even this morning but no headaches.  I feel like I can handle the day now.  

To summarize, yes things got worse.  They are still bad for Austin .  I am feeling better and I got some chocolate in the house :).  Mya is feeling great.  Aliyah has only screamed for something twice this morning and Eric wins the award for the most attentive and responsive husband of the year!!

Thanks for caring!  I will have to remember to be more grateful when the weeks are easier!   

Christmas 2008

I know this is late but I told you I was catching up.  We had a wonderful Christmas this past year and felt so blessed to be happy, healthy and together.  I was great about taking lots of video this year but not as many pictures.  Big gifts included a Wii and a basketball goal; both of which have kept us all very entertained.  

Daddy and Aliyah...I think he was trying to keep her from stealing the Wii remotes from her brother and sister!

Modeling the hats my parents had made for everyone.  They say "Heritage Pines" on them which is the name of the land we own in Mississippi.

Mya opening her scooter from my parents.

Need I say more?

New toothbrushes and PJs.  

Daddy Daughter Date

The night before Mya hit her face on the floor was a wonderful night for her!  The Reflections of Christ was open for the last night and it was going to close with a concert from the artist who made the cd to accompany the picture gallery.  I knew I would not be able to go because I would be home with Austin but I did not want Eric to miss it.  He decided to take Mya on a date to go see it since she seemed to be feeling better from being sick all week.  This date was complete with dinner and all!   Mya had requested to go to a "dark" restaurant.  He came to me and said , "What in the world is a dark restaurant?"  I didn't know either so I asked her.  She said "Oh you know, like Taco Bell!"  Eric sighed a sigh of relief that she was not already going to break his wallet at four years old.  I think she mostly wanted to sit down somewhere and not go to a drive through.  She wanted her Daddy's undivided attention for a night.  They had a great time.  She started to not feel great toward the end but Eric said the concert was awesome.  Thanks, Eric, for being a great Daddy!